Solstice Eve 20.12.2012–Grateful to Be Here Now!

I am Deeply Grateful to Be Alive at this Amazing Time!

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[photo by Jesse Coffey of Yule Tree Decorated with Small Birds, copied from Facebook, I think, and used w/out permission–I hope that’s okay, Jesse!]

I love how the main themes of this season’s “cosmic consciousness” (at least in my personal universe!) seem to be “Lighten Up for the New Paradigm,” and “Focus on Gratitude.”  I’m on quite a few “self-help” and “spiritual entrepreneurship” and “holistic healing” mailing lists, as well as enrolled in several self-help programs, and the themes of releasing what no longer serves us, in order to call in what we truly desire for the new year (or New Age), and focusing on gratitude, are predominating the subject matter of my Inbox these days.

Early this year I did “Personal Breakthrough” work with Scout Wilkins, and started a daily gratitude journal at her suggestion.  After a while, I found myself spontaneously thinking grateful thoughts, or asking myself what I’m grateful for during times of mental or physical pain.  I’m currently deep into Scout’s  yearlong group program, Traveling Light, grateful for her guidance for self-transformation and empowerment.  She had us start the year program with a “Toleration Blitz,” which catalyzed my huge, still slow, ongoing decluttering program (using miniscule “kaizen steps” due to my fatigue challenge), and recently led me through a deep process to release Fear.  I believe that this has prepared the way for me to heal from decades of multiple chemical sensitivities (and have already noticed a significant lessening of symptoms from venturing into the city or breathing laundry fragrance from my visitors—yay!  I am grateful, deeply grateful!).  [Check out Scout’s programs and free offerings at www.scoutwilkins.com, and Google and library wordsearch “kaizen” for more info on how to do the apparently impossible beginning with astonishingly tiny steps].

SARK’s Great Life e-Letters have cycled through Time for Gratitude, Time for Forgiveness (a huge lightening up for me), and Time for Miracles these past moons, and I’m currently enjoying her Awesome Anytime Adventures and the online community of her Creativity Clubhouse (www.planetsark.com).  She inspires me to greater playfulness and “succulence” and gives me permission to feel all my feelings (along with techniques to gently release those pesky “negative” feelings and return to happiness).  Clubhouse members are also inspiring, supportive, and generous.  I’m particularly grateful to have met “glitterbomb” Jani Franck there.  I’ll be in her art journaling e-course in January. [http://creativejournaling2013jan.eventbrite.co.uk/ or www.janifranck.com; she has great freebies and other very affordable courses].

This month I’m participating in Amy Czadzeck’s free online program “30 Days to Fill Your Cup,” and really appreciate her gentle cues to nurture myself in a different way each day, and daily queries about my challenges and celebrations.  (You can join any time during the month if you wish, at www.amyleeczadzeck.com).

I have noticed that (along with deep “discovery” and “breakthrough” work, loving self-care, and indulging in playful artistic creativity), returning regularly to an attitude of gratitude has transformed my life.  It’s difficult to believe from my current “happy place,” but a year and a half ago I was struggling out of a year of deep, dysfunctional depression with associated anxiety—a repeating, three decades-long pattern that, along with “environmental illness” and “chronic fatigue,” had forced me into a reclusive life with months spent in my bed.  A special mineral formula developed for bipolar (called Equilib®, available online but prescribed for me by a wonderful holistic psychiatrist), the work I’ve done with my awesome life coach, and the online communities I have joined have given me (as my Okie father used to say) “a new lease on life.”

I have become a happy person—which I had not been for 30 years except for too brief (and rather crazy) “hypomanic” intervals!  Regularly reminding myself to focus on what I am grateful for has been an easy and effective practice for my healing journey (which also benefits from spiritual practice and ceremony, good nutrition, permaculture gardening, journaling, collage and beadcrafting and “playing art.”

Yesterday, during our regular group coaching call, Scout went deep into her wisdom place and channeled some amazing insights about the 12.21.12 “portal.”  She (THEY?!) declared that we are in a ten-day window of opportunity for transformation, with the peak of the energy on the Solstice, and that Gratitude is the way through into the new paradigm.  Scout led us in Tapping on Gratitude–EFT without a setup of “Even though…,” just rounds of “I’m so grateful”, then rounds of “I’m so grateful for my teachers, all my teachers” or other general statement that my mind filled in the specifics around.  Twenty minutes and some heartfelt tears later, we were soaring.  Or at least Scout and the other student were.  When asked, I confessed that I felt really tired, so I was not ecstatic like they were, but I was grateful my cozy bed was waiting for me (mid-afternoon).  Scout reassured me that it was totally okay to be grateful relative to my capacity in the moment.

People, we aren’t expected to “live up to our potential” because that’s a goal always out of reach (which leads to our Inner Critic beating us up); rather we may express or do what we are actually capable of in any given moment, whether it’s being grateful or loving, giving, creative, productive, etc.).  We ended the call and I went outside to go to my bed in the other trailer, but after a few deep breaths of cool fresh air I decided to finish transplanting seedlings into my garden, a task that I hadn’t finished the day before.  Amazingly, I got ALL my starts into the ground under the auspicious waxing Pisces moon, and had a lovely simple supper with a movie and some time on Facebook before climbing into my bed after delicious deep breaths of frosty air and a short moonbath.  It appears that by deeply honoring yesterday mid-afternoon’s “small” capacity as being okay, it expanded amazingly!

This Solstice Eve morning, I journaled using Kristi Shmyr’s Last Year Ever Review   (from her Goal Ninja newsletter).  She took a unique approach to the question of what 12.21.12 means, and suggested we act as if the world will end on Friday, and directed us to look back at what positive impacts we have had on other people (etc.) during our lifetime.  [You can find Kristi through http://www.goalninjas.com].  My Last Year Ever Review left me deeply grateful for the cumulative positive impacts I have had in the world.  In spite of so many “lost” and “self-involved” years of depression and dysfunction, small kindnesses and charities have truely “added up” over the course of the forty years of my “adult” life!

While appreciating this retro-perspective, I did find myself frustrated by the exercise’s “world ends tomorrow” assumption, because I am so deeply motivated to “get my message out” and “womanifest my vision” via Nature Widsom Journey, the business I am gestating and intend to launch—on the other side of the 12.21.12 portal into amazing 2013.  Thankfully, I agree with the sensible majority of new agers (including Kristi), who seem to agree that, yes, “the times they are a’changin’,” with something really amazing happening around this year’s Winter solstice.  I’m “pretty darn sure” (quoting Dad again) I’ll have the opportunity to wo-manifest in the “new” year (or “New Age”!) what has been so amazingly catalyzed in this one.  (Blessed Be!)

 

[Imagine a cool doodle of fairy lights, or holly swags, or cute little birds on a tree branch across the page here–or at least my current level of doodling, abstract curlycues and spirals….  and send me the power of believing I will actually learn to post my own art on my blogposts in the New Year!]

…Oops, once again I have blogged beyond most readers’ attention spans–too many words and not enough pictures!  Time to cease and desist, even though there are more synchronicities to comment on, more awesome thought leaders to cite and recommend, more more more things to express my gratitude for!  I’m going to eat my well-cooked porridge, which has thickened into a dried-fruit filled “figgy pudding” as “breakfast time” is approaching the noon hour.  My appetite is “keen” and the sun has risen high enough for me to dine “al fresco,” grateful for the freedom to write for hours whenever I wish, and to be living in this beautiful Sonoran desert where winter days are warm and garden greens and wildflowers grow and “snowbirds” sit in glorious sunshine, and to be “here now” in the 2012 Portal with the GRATITUDE that will take me through into a beautiful future.

May your life be so blessed this season!

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